Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
