At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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