I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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