Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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