i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?