are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize