Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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