New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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