I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
