Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
