You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
