How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
