I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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