any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
