i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize