And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize