So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
