Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
