I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
