The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
