This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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