Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
