you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
