So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
