There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
