If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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