i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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