He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
