Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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