so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
