Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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