The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
