Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
