why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
