every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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