I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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