I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
