I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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