eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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