Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
