Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Actions speak louder than pants.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
