3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
