Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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