Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
