well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
