the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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