wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
