Are we in a gay sports bar?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
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I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
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Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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