mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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