girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
