i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
