He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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