Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
