Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
