I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
