Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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