I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
