i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
