she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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