It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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