Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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