hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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