I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So many bounce houses so little time
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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