i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm sobbing to NWA
These tits shall not be calmed
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
