Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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