fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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