amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
